Personal Development Academy: personality

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Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personality. Show all posts

Tuesday, 23 January 2018

January 23, 2018 0

Ten Fingers, Ten Toes


Once our parents see our ten fingers and ten toes at birth, they usually breathe a sigh of relief that we have all of our necessary body parts. As we go through life, we probably do not give much thought to these digits and toes until one gets broken or sprained. In other words, we take it for granted that they will be there for us always and will function properly.
Do you take other things for granted? Many relationships have fallen apart because we took our significant other, friend, or family member for granted. Just like our fingers and toes, we expect these people to be in our lives doing what we ask forever and not thinking twice that they could someday disappear. We can come up with many excuses why we don't acknowledge them more often and more importantly, thank them. We are too busy, we are lazy, we just didn't think to do it, and/or we assume the other person just knows that we are grateful. NOT!
Start today by thinking about the most important people in your life, both personally and professionally. How often do you make an effort to thank them for something they did or just thank them for being in your life (tolerating you)? Then think about your relationship with each one and determine when was the last time you did something for them even if it was writing a note, giving a hug, or just saying "thank you?"
If you realize that you don't do this often enough, turn it around and put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if you were the one they ignored or did not acknowledge when you did something for them? You may be mad, sad, frustrated, and/or hurt. I am sure they feel the same way and they may get to the point where they resent you or just distance themselves from you. Eventually it may get to the point that they quit their job to find a boss who appreciates them more or a spouse who wants out of the marriage.
The important thing is that you can change it RIGHT NOW. For some, you may just have to apologize and but for others it may take a lot more effort on your part. Regardless of which approach you choose, you need to be specific and sincere. "I really appreciate that you got this report to me before the due date" or "I never tell you how much I appreciate that you make such delicious dinners." If the person is not local, try sending a handwritten note. Emails take seconds to compose but a written note shows much more effort and it is always nice to get something besides a bill in the mail.
Take five minutes today and reach out to someone who you feel you have taken for granted. Do this every day for ten days and see what a difference it makes in the people you contacted and yourself. In our busy lives, we tend to think of only the bad things that have happened to us and not the good. Gratitude and appreciation are two things we need to practice every day. We would certainly miss a toe or finger if we lost it so think of those in your life the same way.



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Thursday, 18 January 2018

January 18, 2018 0

Can Self Esteem Be Taught?

Of course it can, in fact we have all, as a society been taught to believe self esteem is even a thing. Prior to 1980 most people hadn't even heard of self esteem. The first use of the term can be traced back to 1890 but even then the concept of self esteem didn't really even become an accepted as a psychological concept until the late 1960's. This came about as the rise in consumerism and consumption started to put the individual at the centre of his or her destiny.
A major influence on the self esteem movement was Nathaniel Brandon who is often credited as the father of the self esteem movement. So if you're having self esteem issues as you might like to call them, you can blame him. This was affected by enlightened self interest and radical individualism espoused by An Rand. Whilst Branden's views may not be what they once were, he is widely credited with opening the door of self esteem to popular culture. This occurred sometime around the late 80's as self esteem began to move from the world of academia into the public consciousness.
Helped along by political types, a member of the California State Assembly even claiming low self esteem is the cause of drug abuse, teenage pregnancy and even school underachievement. Seeing boosting self esteem as a form of social vaccine. All this despite no evidence and many studies showing evidence to the contrary.
Unlike many fads that come and go, self esteem has hung in there and become part of the social fabric and popular culture of the western world. These unsubstantiated and erroneous beliefs about self esteem became part of the teachings about how we should view ourselves. So effectively much of our society has been taught to believe in self esteem. It has become reality based on collective belief and wish instead of evidence or fact.
What can you do? Refuse to rate the self, start by accepting yourself because you can breathe, and start to notice when you are trying to rate your entirety. When things go well try being happy stop yourself at that point if your habit is to start making sweeping generalisations about yourself as a result. When things don't go well its OK to be unhappy, but rating yourself because of it is not only unhelpful, it's also incredibly inaccurate. Learning to accept yourself unconditionally is the best place to be.





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Monday, 15 January 2018

Can Do Attitude

January 15, 2018 0

Never Let What You Can't Do Interfere With What You Can Do


It's it difficult to keep our focus. I think it has something to do with things or events that we allow into our lives to distract us. Not all of these things are bad in nature, but they become a problem when we allow them to distract us from viewing at life.
There are various things that competes with our time. The moment we allow them to take too much; we lose our focus. We don't have to cut these distractions out entirely, we just need to keep them in check.
No one can serve two masters at the same because the tendency is either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. Do one thing at a time and try to manage your time efficiently.
We should not dwell on regrets. It's important to understand that it's normal to commit mistakes and failures. What's important is how we learn from them. Stop looking back, forgive and forget and then compile all those lessons you've learned to move on with life. Never let regrets or disappointments distract you from reaching your dreams and aspirations in life.
Becoming complacent is also important in doing what you want. It's one thing to experience happiness and be content with yourself but never let yourself get so comfortable that you're no longer hungry for change. You don't need to change anything especially in your personality. Do not do something just to please others. Make sure that it makes you feel good and secure. I am sure, you would already be wildly successful.
What you're doing today can always be improved on and enhanced if you allow yourself a room for improvement. But still do it for yourself not for others. Keep your drive strong. You can always afford to learn something new from your everyday experience and even from the people that surrounds you. They might criticize you but in the end, you alone, can decide for yourself. Don't allow their words to affect you. Never let anyone define who you are.
Though, I am willing to bet that there's at least one part of your life you'd like to change or improve, but you might not know how. Maybe you know what to do but don't have the energy or motivation to even start. Just be open for change.
Don't let what you can't do interfere what you can do. Those things are just one per cent of your total being. You can learn from those negative comments and do better as long as you are willing to give a try. In other words, we don't get a choice about living our lives if we allow our circumstance to affect us.
Bottom line is the fact that we need to know what matters most to each of us.
Most of us live in a life defined by other people who believe we need to know or who we need to be. But honestly, what we do is nobody's business. It is ours alone to make.





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