Four Tips That Can Save You From Making Stupid New Year Resolutions
Around the beginning of each year, people start beating up
on themselves, agonizing about things not accomplished in the past, and then
they seek a solution in some dim, poorly thought out pledge to be and/or act
differently in the upcoming year. For those of the Christian faith, it is
apparent that many have confused themselves into thinking that Lent is a year
round thing and that a New Year resolution is about denial. For others a
resolution is not a resolution unless it is grandiose and has as an added benefit
of requiring a major change in lifestyle or life direction. These are often
folks who make these decisions and pledges, after having had several glasses of
champagne. The lucky ones do not remember it the next day! To make a New Year
resolution, one needs to understand why there is any value at all in doing so.
Here are four things to consider when building sound goals for New Year
resolutions.
First, the most important thing is that a resolution must be
designed for success and not based on denial. Denial is bad in nearly all
things. If your Faith is involved here, keep repeating "this is not
Lent" as you work on your resolution!
Second, a resolution must not pledge a person to quit doing
something they truly enjoy because it has a very small margin for success. Quit
smoking, giving up chocolate (not Lent remember), most diet pledges and
resolutions that are dependent of someone else doing something, are doomed to
failure. Several years ago, a Catholic friend made a new years resolution,
which called for another friend to get married that year. This is a wish; in a
stretch, it may be considered a prayer. However, it is not a resolution
designed for success. Creating or committing to a New Years resolution that has
no margin for success, has no value. If a person does not believe the goal on
which the resolution is based is achievable, then it is stupid and again, has
no value. Save your stop smoking plan and diet strategies for lifestyle changes
that you work on with your doctor and your fitness guru, not for a New Year
resolution.
The third thing is that for a resolution to be successful,
it should bring the person true personal satisfaction. To do this, the
resolution must be something the individual actually wants, even desires to be
different in their life. Personally, two of my best resolutions in this decade
have been tremendous successes for this very reason. In, 2001 I resolved to
stop wearing neckties. I have not done so since, not even at my wedding that
year. Get some collarless dress shirts, a few nice print shirts and some silky
mock turtlenecks and one is good to go. The following year I resolved to stop
wearing a wristwatch. I do, on occasion, carry my Father's gold railroaders
pocket watch and in a pinch, my cell phone will tell me the time.
Two other examples may help illustrate the strength personal
satisfaction can play in a well thought out New Years resolution. While still
in his teens, a fellow to whom I am close was told by his Father that one could
"tell a great deal about a person by whether they kept their shoes
shined." Since this person disliked shining shoes, he thought of his
Father's words on any occasion that he noticed his own dull or scoffed shoes
while in a group of other people. One year, he pledged to frequent shoe shine
stands and get regular shoe shines. Each time he did this it made him think of
his Father, of whom he was every fond. Now that is a New Years resolution!
The second example is a man who made a resolution in 1979
not to enter a church except to observe the design or architecture unless the
occasion was a wedding or funeral for which he could not find a way to get out
of going. Only one time has he failed to keep that pledge. On Xmas Eve of 1990,
he entered Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris to observe the spectacular of the
Midnight Mass celebration. Not exactly grounds for branding him a backslider!
The fourth key to avoiding stupid goal-setting in New Years
resolutions is to analysis the scope of your future disappoint if you fail to
stick to the pledge. If you make the resolution in order to bring yourself
satisfaction or even happiness, to fail to achieve the outcome will bring you
neither. Failure is likely to make a person quiet disappointed with themselves.
That is not a place we want to resolve to be shortly after beginning a New
Year. By looking inside one's self like this, we can increase our chances of
recognizing a resolution with the potential for success from one that will
bring disappointment. Do not make a resolution that your head or your heart
tell you will bring disappointment and make you feel bad about yourself.
Ask yourself questions based on these four tips to get at an
understanding of your true conviction regarding the resolution. Is this about
denial? If there is denial involved, step away from the denial. Is this a
significant lifestyle change? If so, it is not likely to become a successful
resolution. Will my success with this resolution bring bring me significant
personal satisfaction? If the answer is yes, you are most of the way there my
friend. Am I dependent on the actions of others to be successful with this
resolution? If the answer is yes, move on from this resolution to one where you
are the one in control. By answering a few questions of this kind and other I
am sure you can think of, you will greatly increase your odds of gaining the
incredible personal satisfaction of successfully living your New Year
Resolutions.
In closing, here's an observation that may be viewed as a
bit of a disclaimer. Resolutions that involve any kind of commitment to regular
exercise should not have these rules or this analysis applied to them. Exercise
is not about denial, it's about achieving the discipline and commitment to
continue. It is about feeling better because you do it. This is about your
health. Exercise that does not pound your body around but rather helps you
maintain your muscles, heart and well-being should be in the New Year's resolution
"try, try again" file. Trying and failing to achieve the commitment
and discipline for success will bring disappoint, no doubt about it. The key is
to keep at it until you find an enhancing activity like Yoga, walking, or maybe
swimming that finally allows you success and personal satisfaction. I believe
that Yoga, all by it's self can be the center of many sound goals that may
provide New Years resolution success. Regular yoga practice provides an
umbrella lifestyle for exercise, stress management, meditation, balance and
well-being. As I said before, now that's a New Year's resolution!
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